"Sex is the ultimate form of love," says Osho. "It deepens love." But in our social context, this philosophy sits well only when physical relationships occur between committed couples or husband and wife. But when such relationships thrive outside of a marriage, it runs afoul of social conventions and almost certainly jeopardizes family ties.

Social upheaval resulting from disintegrating families is already a reality in Ilam district, thanks to men leaving the country for foreign employment. Compared to just a few years ago, there has been a sharp rise in the number of people seeking divorce: 96 couples filed for divorce in the district in just past 11 months, out of which 64 have been granted. 



An Ilam district court staffer shows a list of divorce cases settled by the court. (Benup Raj Bhattarai/Republica)

After her husband left for foreign employment, a women belonging to Majhi caste started to feel lonely. The local of Godak village got closer to a man and ended up becoming pregnant with his child. Her in-laws could not accept the development and her husband was called back home. The couple parted ways legally. Now the wife lives with her parents along with the child. 

Another couple in the same area got divorced recently. In the absence of her husband, a mother of two could not resist the "love" shown by a man. As her children were grown up, they told their father about the affair. He got back with the single intention: to separate from his dishonest wife. The district court granted divorce to the couple soon after it was filed. 

According to Ilam district court, the number of couples seeking divorce is shooting up. While in the past most cases filed in the court were related to property and family disputes, majority of court cases are now about divorce.

Out of total 141 cases filed in the court in the last 11 months as many as 96 cases are for divorce. "It is shocking, but not surprising," said Arjun Shrestha, a senior officer at the court. "Divorce cases are on the rise. And almost all of them involve people on foreign employment," he added. According to him, the court receives more than one divorce related cases every day. "Sometimes the number reaches four in a day," said Shrestha. 

Gone are the days when people raised eyebrows when they heard the word divorce. It has become and an every day affair, says Shrestha. "When a husband or a wife is working abroad, lack of trust arises. In some cases, marriage has ended just on the basis of rumor," says Shrestha. 

According to Shrestha, those who marry in a hurry or at an early age have been finding it especially hard to remain committed. Similarly, inter-caste marriages have failed remarkably, he noted. "A majority of those seeking divorce are aged below 30," he says. 

The jump in divorce cases has caught even legal professionals by surprise. "Foreign employment has been the main reason of divorce among couples. Extramarital affair and lack of trust creeps in among such couples," he says. 

Foreign employment, which has been termed as the backbone of the country´s economy, is thus not only triggering broken hearts but also rendering innocent helpless. Kamala Bhattarai, a staff at the court, says children suffer the most when their parents decide to get divorce. "Some kids cry holding the hands of both parents."

Published on: 4 July 2014 |  Republica